It's been far too long since I've posted anything. Life has been so hectic this winter. I've taken on more hours at work, still take classes full time, and many, many family things have happened this winter. My boyfriend's mother has been at Mass General for a month now with a rare skin reaction from a prescription, and I've had to step up and help take care of the house and his elderly grandmother, since we both live with his family right now. I've also lost a loved one only a few short weeks ago. My grandfather finally succumbed to the pancreatic cancer he had been fighting, but that's a very personal matter, which I prefer not to go into detail about. I'm just glad that I had time to say goodbye, and that I have a few mementos that once belonged to him, like his buck knife and his collection of Johnny Cash records. Death is such a sad affair, but as I get older I find that I am slowly accepting the fact that it is inevitable, and I try more to celebrate a wonderful life and remember the good things than to be sad all the time, although it's easier said than done.
Despite all of these hardships, I still try to find ways to stay bright and optimistic, mostly by distracting myself from my daily life. I've been reading like a mad-woman lately, books like A Great and Terrible Beauty, Asylum, The Forest of Hands and Teeth, and now Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children. Books have always been, and always will be, my great escape.
I've had a birthday since my last post. I'm 23 now, but I still feel like a little kid in grown-up clothes. I wonder if that feeling ever goes away. My boyfriend took me to get a tattoo for my birthday, which I have yet to get colored in since I seldom have time to do much of anything. It's an illustration by Hilary Knight, from a 1960's version of Beauty and the Beast. It's my favorite fairy tale. I think Belle was my first nerd idol as a kid. The character of Belle is always humble, caring, and always reading something. This story resonates with me as a story that teaches you to look past the exterior of people and learn to see their inner beauty, which is part of what makes it such a wonderful story for all ages.
I've said goodbye to the blue hair in favor of a natural looking copper. Pastels are hard to maintain, especially with my schedule, so that had to go.
When I have time to spare, I'm taking pictures and trying to be creative. The first picture of an old building in Hooksett is what inspired me to start writing the story line that I began writing in November, during National Novel Writing Month, but which I did not finish in one month because apparently I do not handle daunting deadlines all that well right now. I'd like to take a term off from school once I finish this biology class to have a little time to free my mind. The tulips are what I got for my wonderful boyfriend on our 2.5 year anniversary. It's super cheesy, I know, but little things like that mean a lot to both of us. That last picture is my favorite creation of this winter. I cross-processed a picture of a drawing I made in a vintage book of the evil eye with my own picture of Morning Glory Pool in Yellowstone. I used a double exposure app on my phone to do that, and I'm surprised at all the neat things I can create with it.
So that's been my life for the past few months. It's hectic, crazy, heartbreaking at times, but I can't let that stop me from being happy to have the life I have, because despite all of the hard parts, the good parts really are worth it at the end of the day.
